Over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a Septic Tank Truck: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels" On a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in." On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber!" On a Church's Billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak." At a Tire Shop: "Invite us to your next blowout." At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts!" In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!" At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. (However, if you don't, you will be.") In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank heaven for little grills." At a Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. ~Norman Vincent Peale
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